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So ya wanna join da family, kid? Da most important ting is havin' a good mob name, see. But fer dat, we gotta get a feel fer how yer gonna size up in dis here "organization". Just answer dese questions--if we like what we see, yer in da mob! Da first name is: Da last name is: Mebbe I gots (click all dat apply): a noticeable limp an abnormally large head a lazy eye an abnormally small head small hands small feet big hands big feet a stutta a lisp a mole on da face left-handed a big chin da unsymmetrical body parts da beady eyes a face only a muddah could love big jowls hair growin' on da back da ugly feet da horrible fashion sense yellah teeth a noticeable scar on da face Mebbe I'm missin' (click all dat apply): alla or somma da teeth alla or somma da hair an eye botha dem eyes da hearin' an ear a fingah a hand a leg da sense a dignity I gots da: I gots da: blue eyes dark hair green eyes light hair brown eyes dunno, gotta hat whatevah da no hair Da favorite drink is da:   Da favorite tobaccah is da: rum cigar whiskey cigarette vodka pipe gin chaw beer I don't do da tobaccah I don't do da drinkin'   Da favorite color is da: Da dressin' style is: red da punk blue da geek yellah da "rich offa da Internet" geek green whatevah's in da closet black whatevah's on da floor white da pinstripe suits, real nice-like purple "You lookin' at me?" orange   What typa mobster is I? I'm smart and can tink real good wit da numbers I usually just lift da boxes and punch people   Everybody else is short Everybody else is tall   I would rather eat a juicy steak than make da sweet love I would rather make da sweet love than eat da stupid steak   If my car is blown up in da parkin' lot, I take da cab home If my car is blown up in da parkin' lot, I go inta hidin'   If da sun is shinin', it's gonna be a good day If da sun is shinin', da sniper can pick me off bettah   I tend ta get upset real easy-like I stay calm mosta da time   I get goaded inta doin' jobs for alla my buddies I goad some punks inta doin' da jobs for me   I'm good at da gamblin' I'm real bad at da gamblin'   I bashed a coupla guys' heads in before I ain't never bashed nobody's heads in Da Truths and Falses Da Truth Da False Elvis is alive Da aliens probed me Elvis is one a dose aliens dat probed me "I love my muddah."

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